I try to teach my kids the power of “no.” Even when we’re tickling or playing, if someone says “No!” we respect their no.
We respect ourselves, and we respect others. It’s okay to stand up for yourself. It’s okay to speak truth in love. It’s not okay to push people past their boundaries.
Divorce is hard. It’s been hard on me, and it’s been hard on my kids. We work a lot on emotional regulation in our home. My kids love the book Come On, Calm! by Kelsey Brown (who is also an SLP!). They ask to read it every night. Evelyn even sleeps with it. I’ve used these same strategies with my patients too — because we read it so often, I have it memorized by heart.
Today, I had the opportunity to either react or respond to a message. I read it, and chose not to react. I locked my phone, rolled my eyes, took a sip of coffee, and responded from an emotionally regulated state.
Children learn from what they see. If we expect them to be calm and clear, we have to be calm and clear too. I don’t always do this perfectly (nobody does), but the effort is paying off. My kids are safe and loved. They’re learning to respect others and themselves. They’re learning the words they need to set boundaries — and keep them.
